DVD: SHLOCK & SORCERY

The Sword & The Sorcerer (1982, 101mins)

Deathstalker (1982, 77mins)

The Warrior & Sorceress (1984, 78mins)

From the time of great darkness, known as the early 80's when there was a brief movie interest in the literary genre known as Sword & Sorcery following on from the success of the movie Conan the Barbarian, came these three films, none of which have anything in common saving that they have a certain cult reputation and that they are all a smelly pile of shit, the author of this blog is ashamed to admit that over a span of several years he actually paid money for these DVDs and now, having watched them again for the first time in many years and over a span of time that amounts to less than 24 hours, he presents reviews of each of them for your delectation in chronological order and starting with-

Directed by the fast, cheap and crap Albert Pyun, whose list of directorial credits is among the worst in movie history, and at over 20minutes longer than the other two, I confess I skimmed through most of this. An evil sorcerer takes over a kingdom from a good king but the young heir escapes. Some years later, and carrying his stupid  three-pronged sword whose blades can be fired like arrows, he returns as a charisma-free muscleman. There are fight scenes which aren't particularly well choreographed, talking scenes with a who-cares interest level, and generally goes on too long. There is some minor brief nudity, fairly tame gore, and a some minor torture but little to justify the UK 18 rating (shared with more justification by the other films). Two scenes stand out: the stone coffin with writhing tormented faces (see below with added material), and the scene where George Maharis rips his skin and face off to reveal the monstrous sorcerer underneath. But it isn't worth watching just for them. The cover is drawn by someone I've never heard of but is clearly ripping off Frank Frazetta and possibly the artist below.

Bonus point for the poster being illustrated by fantasy artist legend Boris Vallejo (who often modeled for his own musclemen) but I'm scoring out of a thousand so it doesn't make much difference. Still, at least it has the spirit of sword and sorcery, if not the budget necessary. That the executive producer was a certain Roger Corman ensures at least a fair degree of salaciousness and gratuitous tit shots. The story is total crap. Another charisma-free blonde muscleman has to retrieve three items of power -a sword, which he has- and two others from a sorcerer who conveniently is holding a tournament to decide upon his heir; actually, it's to get all the musclemen who might be threats to kill each other and he'll dispose of the last man standing. There's a reasonable amount of gore, some attempted rapes, and most of the women, who look like they've come from the Playboy mansion, wander or lay around topless. Not entirely coincidentally, the sorcerer's latest unwilling wife is played (badly) by Barbi Benton an ex-squeeze of Hugh Hefner and we get great views of her primary assets which attracted his attention. Also wandering around with no bra under her cape is a swordswoman played by the late Lana Clarkson for whose tragic death Phil Spector is currently serving a long jail sentence. While it has its moments, there is too much bad acting, stupid plotting, and dull scenes for it to be considered anything other than not very good thus making it the best of the three.

 Together, their collective IQ's total 3.

Featuring the worst poster of them all but at least having the star charisma  of David Carradine, this is the most minimalist of the three films. A warrior wanders into a desert town where two ganglords vie for possession of the sole well and he plays both sides off against each other for his own motives. It's set on an alien world with two suns and hosts several humanoid races (with not very interesting makeup) and humans and nothing is ever explained about this. The sorceress of the title (acted by no-one I've ever heard of) spends most of the time topless. The plotting is again stupid. Carradine is able to wander around heavily populated bad guys' lairs without ever being seen unless it suits the plot and escape from them at will. It's all very pointless. Not even much blood and guts and the sole monster is rubbish. However, it does get one bonus point for an 'erotic' dance by a four-breasted woman.

TECHNOLOGY: MORE COMPUTER HASSLES

My internet connection went down again on Sunday so I phoned up Virgin Media and spent over 90 minutes on the phone. The final 40 were just waiting to be connected to a third person (a skilled technician for I'd paid an additional sum of £10 a month for the next 6 months) and finally gave up. I rang again around lunchtime, explained the situation and got put through to a technician. He couldn't solve the problem but knew what was going wrong and passed me over to someone else who told me that his explanation was a load of crap. He then spent an hour sorting out my problem. His problem was that as soon as he sorted out a problem, another cropped up. But eventually it did work and I had my internet connection up and running an, bar a couple of brief hiccups, it's stayed that.

Then Blogger went funny. I'd open up Freethinking only to find the screen shooting up and down for several seconds before settling at the very first entry of the month rather than the latest. And the little bar which allowed me access to creating a new post was missing. After a couple of days I logged on to the help website where I got the impression that something odd was going on. I posted a query yesterday afternoon, ticking the box to be notified if I got a reply. I didn't. Today, however, things were back to normal. Hence this post. 

I would have written something more coherent but I've been so busy today in the real world (and most of it's cat-related and therefore more appropriate for my other blog) that I'm too tired to do anything other than post this brief note. I'm also elbow deep in copying CDs onto ITunes and thence onto my Ipod and then deciding which CDs I want to keep and which I'm selling on Amazon and how much and all because when we sorted out our garage I found two large boxes of CDs which has been missing for over three years which I wasn't really going to explain about but I see that I just have.

Okay, time for a glass of wine and Chuck Season 2.12.

TV/DVD: CHUCK SEASON 1 -CHUCK AND THE PROBLEM OF SEXUAL TENSION IN THE WORKPLACE

I think I caught part of one episode of the first season back when it aired on cable and it didn't impress me much so I didn't bother with it. Yet I kept seeing rave reviews from time to time, enough to make me wonder if I should give it another chance. So, when the price of the first season on DVD came down to around £7.00 I gave it a shot. And as soon as I finish this post I'll start watching Season 2 DVD.

But one thing in particular struck me about it; that, like Castle (see previous post), it's steeped in unrelieved sexual tension. Setup: an old college friend turned enemy downloads a computer program full of secrets and transfers it into Chuck's brain (this is the simplified version), then destroys the computer it came from.  Thus Chuck (Zachary Levi), our intelligent good-looking computer-geek who works for something like Dixons, becomes a national security resource who is guarded/used by CIA agent Sarah (Yvonne Strahovski) and her NSA counterpart Casey (Adam Baldwin). No surprise that Chuck falls for the hard-shelled but vulnerable Sarah, who pretends to be his girlfriend as a cover, and not really much of a surprise that she rather likes him: but she can never show it. This is the continuing undercurrent to a rather likeable comedy-thriller.

I mentioned Castle, but this also reminds me a little of the Big Bang Theory in that Chuck/Sarah reminds me of the Leonard/Penny dynamic. However, the writers had the sense to get them together in the third season even if they did cruelly break them up towards the end. I'm the production team have the sense to get Chuck and Sarah together before audiences get sick of the constantly delayed climax (sexual pun intended).

Like Castle, Chuck works well because of a good cast playing good supporting roles. In this case, for me, the standout part is Adam Baldwin who has corned the market in playing the seriously heavy heavy with a cruel sense of humour. He was good in Angel, he was brilliant in Firefly and he's great in this. I could live without some of the other cast, particularly Chuck's workmates, though I like the Chinese girl. But it does balance the humour and the thriller aspects of it very nicely. It's certainly a lot more interesting than Castle, which is very one-note, while this has secrets within secrets within...etc. Halfway through the season, a character you believed dead turns out not be and not everything you believe about past events is true.

So, with a photo of the great Adam Baldwin, I bid you goodbye and slip in Disc 1 of Chuck Season 2.

TV: CASTLE -METATEXTING

I make no bones (TV crime series pun) about this: Castle is a lightweight crime comedy/drama series which I wouldn't watch if it didn't star Nathan Fillion who possesses an enormous wry self-deprecating charm. It's also helped by a good performance from Stana Katic as the co-lead, and a good supporting cast.

In case you aren't familiar with it, here's the setup which is lifted completely from the Wikipaedia entry on the series: 

Castle follows Nathan Fillion as Richard Castle, a famous mystery novelist who has killed off his main character in his book series and has writer's block. He is called in to help the NYPD solve a copy-cat murder based on one of his novels. Stana Katic co-stars as Detective Kate Beckett. Castle, who becomes interested in Beckett as a potential character for a new book series, uses his connections at the mayor's office and receives permission to continue accompanying Beckett while investigating cases. Castle decides to use Beckett as the model for the main character of his next book series starring "Nikki Heat". Beckett, an avid reader of Castle's books, initially disapproves of having Castle shadow her on her cases, but later warms up and recognizes Castle as a useful resource in solving crimes.

I just watched the latest episode on cable and the writer must have loved it when they accepted the script idea. But let's just go over that summary again from a slightly different angle. Fictional writer of crime fiction (Castle)  teams up with a fictional NYPD detective (Beckett) for background on his new fictional series about a fictional NYPD detective (Nikki Heat) who has a lover called Rook (rook, castle, geddit?) and the resulting series of books becomes a success.

Now, in this latest episode, fictional within a fiction Nikki Heat (the novel) is being turned into a fictional movie (within a TV series) starring a blonde scream queen actress who turns up to shadow Beckett. This meta-text would be good enough but the fictional actress turns out to be a good method actress (as is the real actress playing her whose name I didn't take note of, silly me) and gradually becomes Beckett over the course of the episode so that she almost takes over from Beckett and Beckett who started out liking the woman ends up resenting her. There's also an amusing byplay with Castle whom she at first ignores because she didn't need to read the book as the screenplay is 'brilliant' and differs considerably from the novel. This attitude changes to such a degree that she wants to fuck Castle so as to experience the full intensity of the relationship between Heat and Rook.

This entire episode had me in stitches, partly because of the meta-texting but also because it was so funny and that the guest star* was so good and so gorgeous. (If anyone knows who she was, let me know please. I'm currently watching the first season of Chuck on DVD and came across another attractive actress who was just as good in a two-part guest roll called Rachel Bilson and had better chemistry with the lead than the lead actress.)

I've also recently learned that fictional writer Richard Castle has had published three Nikki Heat novels and there will also be a graphic novel written by him (in this case it's really Brian Bendis). I may actually check out that first novel.

Post Script.

*Just found out that the actress is called Laura Prepon, of whom I've never heard but if there is any justice I will in future. Like Dana Delany a few episodes ago, she stole the show. Here she is with Fillion.

CD: BEGINNERS GUIDE TO AFRICAN BLUES (3-CD, NASCENTE 2011)

An Amazon 5-star review.

Not the longest of these 3-CD Beginners sets at just under 3 hours, but it's certainly one of the best I've bought. There's the usual guff about African roots of the Blues but over the last 50 years or so there's been so much cross-fertilisation of musical genres that with contemporary artists it's chicken or the egg situation especially when the first track of the third CD is a duet by a British and a Gambian artist reworking Hoochie Coochie Man as Fulani Coochie Man.

The first CD features Senegalese and Malian musicians and are mostly likely to be the artists you've heard of -Ali Farka Toure, Rokia Traore, Boubacar Traore, and Toumani Diabate- and it's as good and varied as you'd expect.

Rokia Traore

But it's the second CD which is, and to my great surprise, my favourite as it features North African, Ethiopian, and Toureg musicians and I've never really got into Tinariwen (who aren't featured). Instead there's a wide range of styles which come over often as soundscapes. But there is also some amazingly powerful emotional music here, particularly Ethiopian Tlahoun Gessesse's horn-driven Sema. Also Dub Colossus with Shegye Shegitu. The last track on the disc is by Libya'sTouareg De Fewet and again it's great -I just hope they are okay, given the current situation. This is all really quite revelatory music. It doesn't exactly sound like the Blues but it sure does feel like it.

 Dub Colossus (Ethopia/UK)

As Phil Meadley in his concise notes remarks, CD3 is most Blue-Blues sounding of the set in terms of structure, though that structure is played around with quite a lot too. So it's the most accessible and immediately enjoyable of the three. But it's the other two discs, particularly the second, which repay focused attention and contain the most rewards.

This is a terrific compilation and highly recommended to anyone who'd like their musical taste buds refreshing, not just fans of Blues or African music.

DVD: (RECENTLY ACQUIRED) THE X-FILES -THE COMPLETE COLLECTOR'S EDITION

What it doesn't say is that it also includes the first movie plus a 60-page booklet. Listed on Amazon for £97.78 (probably a reduction from the original price), I got an excellent used copy from zoverstocks (an Amazon marketplace dealer I highly recommend) for £31.28 (including postage).

The discs haven't been remastered from their original appearance so the menus are a bit clunky -no play all, you have to manually return to the main menu after watching each episode, and other odds bits and pieces. The picture isn't as sharp as you'd expect these days. But it still represents great value for money with a running time of 148 hours and that's not including the extras.

I will be reviewing it some time but, only being halfway through the first series, it won't be soon.

DVD: SINKING OF JAPAN (2006)

Adapted from an Amazon 3-star review. Title: Can't blame this one on Godzilla.

(It feels odd to me to have the indefinite article -that is, The- missing, but they must have had a reason.)

This is almost a good film and, whatever its flaws, fans of disaster movies won't be too disappointed with it.

The production values are high with really good special effects and a number of spectacular scenes. The opening scene in particular gets it right, starting in the middle of a disaster but focusing on two adults and a child who become key figures in the story. The science has the illusion of reality, playing fair with the viewer, and it appears plausible. Suspension of disbelief is important for a film like this. But so are believable sympathetic characters and it scores well in this respect. Despite the large scale disasters, it's a very human story.

But, and you knew this was coming, its flaws do almost spoil it.

The science is less accurate than it appears. Just one simple example: we know from the recent Japanese earthquake that tsunamis don't appear from nowhere. There are clear signs. Here, however, they do just that and at a couple of hundred feet high. It may be good for drama for not for credibility. I'm not sure that blowing a few hundred holes at the front of the tectonic plate would work either.

It's about half an hour too long. Several scenes go on way too long slowing the pace of the film. Some judicious cutting would have improved the impact no end.

Last and least but nevertheless highly irritating is the inclusion of a couple of mawkish pop songs, one of them completely ruining a genuinely touching scene between two of the characters. After about 30 seconds, I switched off the sound and it was much better -still too long though and the translation of annoying the song of course remained onscreen. The film is subtitled not dubbed, but I don't consider that a flaw. Incidentally, no extras, not even a trailer.

So, lots of good things but several bad. Still, I don't regret buying it.

Without wishing to give too much away, the top image is similar to that towards the end of the opening scene (a lot of fire but not a volcano), the middle picture about two thirds of the way through the movie and the third (showing what's left of Japan) is near the end. Whatever else you can say about the film, it delivers.

GARDENING: OUR BEAUTIFUL GARDEN

 

But, seriously...

After living with it for twenty years, Susan decided she wanted the patio she deserved. She also decided to get rid of the concrete path which had been here since our house was built over 85 years ago. These are the in-between pictures, when the patio has been pulled up (see slabs above), border bushes ripped out, and part of the concrete path pulverised. Come back about the same time next week for the new patio & garden. Meanwhile, the cats are having fun with the new arrangement -different places to jump on.

GRAPHIC NOVELS: COMIC BOOK DAY -4 IN A 4-PART MINI-SERIES

7. Introduction.

These last two books aren't graphic novels but a celebration of comics. More specifically a celebration of 75 Years of DC Comics. Indeed there is already a book, and a hugely expensive one at that which is reviewed in an earlier post, called 75 Years of DC Comics. Comics fans can often be tribal, something I consider to be, bluntly, stupid. In this series of graphic novels, I've reviewed two from Marvel, two from DC/Vertigo, and one from Image (one of the major independent comics publishers). My collection of graphic novels tends to reflect this, except that I tend to favour DC over Marvel in a ratio of about 5:2. DC not only has a wider range of comics than Marvel, I prefer their characters and the treatment of them which is why I've indulged myself in these coffee table books. The first review is an edited version of the one I wrote for Amazon.

8. DC Comics: the 75th Anniversary Poster Book. Text by Robert Schnakenberg.  DC/Vertigo. Very large format paperback.

What it is. A large format collection of 100 comic book covers with comments on the following page plus two much smaller but linked covers. 

I love it, though I waited until I could get it for around a tenner rather than twenty. Of course no-one is ever going to agree on which covers should or shouldn't have been included. You could publish another ten or twenty books just like it and there would still be hundreds of covers worthy of inclusion. I'm just grateful for what we've got.

However, I do have one reason in particular for only giving the book four rather than five stars (though it's really four and a half). There is one major and quite astonishing omission which would have been extremely useful to fans of comic book art and I could hardly believe that it wasn't included. If DC ever do anything like this again, please include an Index of Artists. 100 posters plus further 200 small cover images means a lot of artists and an index would have been very helpful to find covers by individual artists. I really can not understand how this was overlooked. 

9.  DC Comics Year By Year: A Visual Chronicle. Writers: Various. DC Comics. Slipcased large format hardback, 350 pages.

 The full cover of the book

The slip-case cover

What it is. A selection of (at a guess) about 1500 significant (or sometimes just plain odd*) comics from the entire DC range in chronological order. Each entry contains commentary on the issue and a smallish reproduction of the cover, plus a few double page spread reproductions. 

As with the other book, I waited until I could get if for a more affordable price than the RRP -£20 as opposed to £35. It's a lovely book for the comic fan. While hitting all the obvious comics, it still manages to come up with some weird and wonderful stuff you've never even heard of. If you're into comics nostalgia, comic art, comics reference books, then it's a great time to be a DC fan. Many hours of fun to be had from a medium that was once considered childish ephemera. Not any more.

* Teen Beat cover dated Dec '67. Only one other issue, renamed Teen Beam.

GRAPHIC NOVELS: COMIC BOOK DAY -3 IN A 4-PART MINI-SERIES

5. Invincible Volume 14: The Viltrumite War. Written by Robert Kirkman, illustrated by Ryan Ottley. Image Comics. Paperback, collects Invincible 71-78.

 

Invincible is probably just about, in a close-run fight, my favourite solo superhero title. Gail Simone's Secret Six group book beats it overall.

When it started, 15 year old Mark lived happily with his mom and Science Fiction writer dad. Except that Dad turned out to be Omniman, the world's strongest superhero and member of the Guardians of the Globe, and Mark is just beginning to develop super powers of his own. He's just getting warmed up when Omniman kills the Guardians and is revealed as an alien, a Viltrumite, who is preparing for the conquest of Earth. After beating his son to a pulp, he heads off into deep space.

For the next few years (this is almost set in real time), Mark as Invincible learns his trade as a superhero, gets a girlfriend, loses his virginity, becomes established in Image Comics superhero universe, develops relationships, realises that his friend Atom Eve is the girl of his dreams, survives encounters with other Viltrumites and finally the stage is set for the Viltrumite War.

Despite their near-Superman power levels, the Viltrumite population has declined rapidly and their interstellar empire is vulnerable to a coalition of their enemies. The coalition, however, needs Invincible (now nearly the equal of his father), a reformed Omniman, their friend the one-eyed Allen the Alien, and Mark's young half-brother by his father with an alien humanoid insectile princess (it's a long story, okay?).

So basically what you've got is an epic interstellar superpower war.

 

Did I mention that it's extremely violent at times? The series started out as what appeared to be a rather sweet son of Superman sort of thing but, despite the clear exaggerated style quickly became dark in tone while still managing humorous touches.

Obviously this isn't the place to start, which is with Volume 1, but it's a terrific payoff for fans of Invincible who've following this series from the beginning. The twist at the end is completely unexpected. I'm also really looking forward to the next one as when Invincible left Earth at the beginning, he didn't know his girlfriend was pregnant. Now it's ten months later.

6. American Vampire Volume 1. Written by Scott Snyder and Stephen King, illustrated by Rafael Albuquerque. Vertigo. Hardback, collects issues 1-5 of the ongoing series.

 

And now for something completely different.

Each chapter is divided into two parts of 16 pages each. The first is set in Hollywood in 1925 and is written by Scott Snyder, the creator of the series. The second is set in Wild West and is the origin story of Skinner Sweet, the American Vampire of the title, and is written by Stephen King. Vertigo is the mature readers imprint of DC Comics and has done much to raise the standards of comic books and the idea of what they can do. Gaiman's Sandman was published by Vertigo to give just the most famous example.

The premise is that European vampires have moved to the USA and expanded into legitimate business enterprises such as movies. Not long after their arrival, they hunted down the outlaw Skinner Sweet who been robbing their banks. Sweet is not a nice person. He is a brutal killer with no qualms about letting his men commit rape during the course of their robberies. He is caught, accidentally vampirised and buried for over 20 years.

In the main story, Sweet appears to have mellowed slightly and is first seen flirting with two movie extras. when one of them, Pearl, is attacked by vampires at a Hollywood party, he vampirises her, gives her some basic information and sets her loose on them (they're old enemies).  The twist is that Sweet and now Pearl are a new breed of vampire, able to walk in daylight. It's also made clear that this series will span the next few decades of the 20th century.

 

This is not superhero stuff and a long way from it, a long way from the fun fantasy violence. It is crude and brutal with an appropriately edgy but highly skilled art style to match. There is a lot of story contained in these five issues making it a dense read which repays rereading. I'd been putting off buying this, despite the many good reviews which suggest it's joining the ranks of Vertigo's best titles, and now I wonder why. This is really very impressive.

GRAPHIC NOVELS: COMIC BOOK DAY -2 IN A 4-PART MINI-SERIES

4.  Ultimate Avengers 3: Blade Versus The Avengers. Marvel. Written by Mark Millar. Art by Steve Dillon. Collecting a 6-issue miniseries.

 

First, a word of explanation. A few years ago, Marvel decided to create an alternate Marvel universe to create versions of their heroes and so the Ultimate Universe was born. Some of it worked brilliantly: The Ultimates by Millar and brilliant artist Bryan Hitch (who illustrates in an Alan Davis mode) was for a while the best superhero title out there with a fresh version of the Avenger. Also by writer Brian Bendis  and artist Mark Bagley, Ultimate Spider-Man. The rest varied from being generally pretty good to occasionally dire. I certainly preferred it to the main Marvel universe. The Millar-Hitch Ultimates only lasted a couple of limited series until recently when Millar, with different artists, wrote three limited series about the Ultimate Avengers, the black ops version of the Ultimates. The first was okay, the second (featuring The Punisher) was complete crap, and I only bought the third because of a few good reviews I came across.

And it's good if very violent fun. And when I say 'very violen't, I mean it. We're talking severed heads, heads with the tops cut off, dismemberment aplenty, and blood all over the place. The local vampires get themselves organised under the leadership of the vampirised Stick (Daredevil's mentor) wearing an old Iron Man suit and who sets about vampirising superheroes including a new teenage Daredevil and nerd-Hulk. Nerd-Hulk is a clone of Bruce Banner with a massive low self-esteem problem. After vampirising Captain America, the vampires launch an all-out assault on the Ultimates home base.

Of course the subtitle is misleading, it isn't Blade versus the Avengers, it's Blade versus the Vampire Avengers. Though he does kick the non-vampirised UA's asses occasionally.

It's superficial as hell but it is all good gory fun. Millar can knock these things out in his sleep and British artist Dillon, while not in the Davis-Hitch league, has his own distinctive style and knows how to draw a good action comic. One thing about this series is that you're never sure which heroes are going to survive because the Ultimate Universe is a far more lethal place than mainstream Marvel's which adds to the fun.

Supper-time Special: All you can DRINK buffet.

GRAPHIC NOVELS: COMIC BOOK DAY - 1 IN A FOUR-PART MINISERIES

1.  Introduction. 

Regular readers will know that I’m a big fan of graphic novels and that most graphic novels are basically a collection of comics. They may be a miniseries (anything from 3-9 issues), a collection of a regular title which may contain one long story or a collection of stories (usually 6 issues, but it varies. And the odds are that they are about super heroes, super villains, or monsters. 

I’ll be reviewing 5 graphic novels which fit into one or more of these categories. Appropriately there are two each from the major comic publishers –DC and Marvel- and one from what is known as the Independents, in this case Image. I’m also going to be reviewing some comic-related books but I’ll get to them later. I’ve called it Comic Book Day in acknowledgement of Free Comic Book Day when publishers release special editions or samplers to Comic Shops to be given away free to their customers.

Now while there are many graphic stories/graphic novels which can be considered to be Art (Love & Rockets, Maus to state the obvious), the books I’m reviewing today aren’t Art. They may be skilfully done, indeed they are all skilfully done but no-one could ever honestly claim that they aren’t anything but entertainment. And what’s wrong with that? We all love being entertained and I love being entertained by superhero stories, among many other things.

2.   Superman: The Black Ring vol.1. Written by Paul Cornell, drawn by Pete Woods. DC Comics.  Hardback, collects  Action Comics 890-895.

The title is misleading as it should really be called:

The New Adventures of Superman’s Arch-enemy, Lex Luthor: The Black Ring vol. 1. 

Superman never actually appears as a character, though he is frequently referred to. What we have is Lex Luthor and his disposable employees plus an android Lois Lane investigating a mysterious energy source and a mysterious unknown enemy attempting to thwart him at every turn. Various villains appear such as Mr Mind, Gorilla Grodd, Slade Wilson the Terminator, and Vandal Savage. Don’t worry if they don’t mean anything to you as it isn’t really important. Of particular interest, however, is the guest appearance of Neil Gaiman’s character Death from the Sandman series and an entire issue/chapter is devoted to Luthor and Death talking.

Otherwise it’s all good fun supervillain stuff. What stands out, however, is Cornell’s portrayal of Luthor which manages to be fresh without changing anything canonical. The android Lois Lane was created by Lex to provide him with insights into his own behaviour, to challenge his thinking so that he takes nothing for granted. Also of interest is the fact that he regular has sex with the android (nit-picking: it’s more of a robot) Lois Lane making you wonder what that tells you about him.

It’s all very slickly done, just not quite as strikingly good as reviews of the comics suggested. There is a concluding collection to come, probably later this year.

3.   Avengers Prime. Written by Brian Bendis, art by Alan Davis & Mark Farmer. Marvel.  Paperback, collects 5 issue miniseries.

This is a spin-off from an on-going saga in which Norman Osborne (the former Green Goblin and full-time psycho) was given took control of the USA’s security. But you don’t need to know any of that. The story opens with the Avengers in the ruins of a destroyed Asgard. Within eight pages, Thor (movie just released), Iron Man (2 movies), and Steve Rogers (formerly, but not currently, Captain America –movie out soon) are whisked away in a vortex and find themselves separated and in a hostile violent land.

Cue an action-packed fantasy adventure.

An unarmed Cap wanders into a packed goblin tavern and wipes the floor with the lot of them, gaining a shield and a sword and is shortly afterwards befriended by a comely maiden. Thor has a hard time of it at the hands and spells of old enemy the Enchantress. Iron Man faces a bunch of ogres and tells them that Thor is a buddy of his which isn’t a good idea as one of them is Fafnir, a part-time dragon that Thor once killed.

But the real enemy is Hela Goddess of Death whom our three heroes, with the aid of some new friends, must defeat.

But who cares? The reason I bought this is because of the gorgeous art by Alan Davis, one of the great superhero artists, and British to boot, of the last 25 years. If it hadn’t been for the participation of Davis, I wouldn’t have bothered. I really couldn’t care less about the story which is no better or worse than you’d expect, but with Davis the result is a fun attractive romp.

 Today's Lunchtime Special. Starter: Tony Stark. Main Course: Horse.

COMPUTERS: MY INTERNET CONNECTION GOT BROKE

I had trouble with it when I first got my new desktop nearly three years ago and I've had the odd problem ever since. Usually rebooting solved it. For the last year or so I've been using a combination of Virgin Media modem and a D-Link router (WiFi) to connect to the desktop upstairs.

Three days ago, it went down again. I called Virgin Media (freephone free support) and after fiddling with the modem and router  it worked again. For about two minutes. I repeated the procedures several times with the same result. Rang them again and the same thing happened. Rang them a third time and on this occasion it lasted till lunchtime the next day. This time when I rang them up, the guy on the other line, after a couple of checks, arranged for an engineer to come today between 12 and 4.. 

The engineer duly called just after one which wasn't bad. It took him a bit fiddling about but he eventually got it working by fitting a new Virgin Media modem which also had WiFi inbuilt. It also meant I could get the 50meg download speed I'm paying for. He also gave me a replacement wireless Lan USB adapter which I then fiddled with for over twenty minutes before I could get it working.

Now, however, all seems well for the moment. Here's a photo of my new Virgin Media Superhub. Long may it, please, work.

 

Shiny!

POLITICS: DID OBAMA GET IT RIGHT?

Declaration of bias: I am opposed to the death penalty; I am opposed to illegal military operations in a foreign country.

So President Barak Obama basically authorised a kill mission in Pakistan to get Osama bin Laden. The mission was a success. Was he right to do so?

Actually, I think he was. If he hadn't and word had got out he would have been called gutless and it would have been a boost for terrorism. Bin Laden was directly responsible for possibly the world's worst terrorist atrocity. He had no qualms about killing innocents. He was profoundly anti-democratic and wanted a fundamentalist world state of Islam which would suppress all human rights as we know them in the West. To have captured him would mean that he would remain a focal point,the justification of more terrorist atrocities and more opportunity to spread his poisonous doctrines. So, yes, Obama was correct to have him killed and without notifying a corrupt Pakistani government which contains many bin Laden sympathisers.

Should he publish the photograph to prove that bin Laden is dead? Damned if he does, damned if doesn't.

Again, I believe he has done the right thing by not publishing it and his reasons are correct. Of course some people will always refuse to believe that he's dead and they would keep on refusing even if the picture was published. They are the same type of morons who refuse to believe that Obama was born in the USA and they believe that because, whatever they profess to believe, it's because Obama is black. Publishing the photograph would be inflammatory. Only idiots refuse to believe that he's dead and most terrorist leaders, whatever else they may be, are not idiots.

He was also right to go to the scene of 9/11 and lay a wreath, a symbolic gesture of closure.

What Obama has proved to the American public at the very least is that they have a president who is strong, courageous, and decisive and who cares as they care. Which, while it may even be true, is exactly what he wants them to think.

POLITICS/SOCIETY: THE ALTERNATIVE VOTE VOTE: A GUEST COMMENT BY BARRY SPENCE

Like you, I will vote NO - but maybe my reasons are different.

As an example of patronising, insular arrogance and presumed superiority of intelligent thought, I had a Tory canvasser at the door two weeks ago, who annoyed me very much. When I explained my exact reasons for choosing NO, he was happy to say that I AGREED WITH DAVID CAMERON. I said I did not agree with him; it was CAMERON who agreed with ME, because I worked all this out myself with my limited and inferior peasant brain, many weeks before Cameron spouted off his feeble opinions and support of the NO lobby. This he does purely for expedience and political reasons, not from genuine belief or convictions about the best voting system.

Meanwhile, his poodle Nicky says that AV would reduce MP expenses abuse, as any MP voted in would be wary of his actions - unlike the previous (and current) bunch of fraudsters and thieves who helped themselves freely. Cleggy reckons that because they were not monitored or controlled, it's "little wonder they dipped their hands into the till - there was nothing to stop them." I have news for this brainless puppet - any ONE of the following would have stopped them: decency, morality, honesty, responsibility, integrity, knowing right from wrong and being as honourable as the title "right honourable gentleman" once meant. I presume Claggy Cleggy accepts that these qualities are no longer demanded of today's MPs. I don't accept it - anyway, I don't want to see expenses abuse "reduced": nothing short of complete elimination will satisfy ME!

Whether by AV or anything else, no elected MP's (mis)behaviour with expenses will change.

I had many reservations about AV ages ago, but what finally pushed me was John Reid of all people (Cameron's unlikely ally in the NO camp) - he expressed so clearly and articulately the seriously anti-democratic problem of totally destroying the ancient basic principle of "One man - one vote" (which in the last century became "One person - one vote"). My democratic right is exactly equal to yours - to demand that MY vote is counted only ONCE in favour of my chosen candidate, not repeatedly used for the potential benefit of the candidates that I DON'T want!

This AV: "One person - a variable number out of several votes" is unfair, unbalanced and (have we all forgotten this?) NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE VOTERS' WISHES.

Only three countries use it, one of which now wants to get rid of it.

As Dirty Harry said, "I hate the system and will always criticise it - but until someone comes along with a better one that makes more sense, I'll work within the current one." For all its stupidities and weaknesses, the creaky, current so-called "first past the post" method is far more preferable to the nonsense of AV.

However, my big question is this, given the whinings over the last half century by Lib Dems, SDLP (anyone remember them?) and Liberals before them - WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THEIR PRESSING DESIRES FOR PR? This works already in Northern Ireland, the Scottish and Welsh Assemblies and half of the world's democracies, including most "member states" (formerly countries) of the EU. Why has nobody mentioned PR at all during this important debate? Are we being fooled by a conspiracy that only two systems exist - the current one and AV?

If any one of you doesn't know what PR is, then I will believe that the above conspiracy did exist - and has succeeded.

Puzzled Anonymous

TV: DR WHO EPISODES 1 & 2 (2011)

On the basis of the first two episodes, the new series of Dr Who is shaping up to be the best yet as it slams a mallet into the viewers collective heads with a series of shocks and surprises.

Opening in the present, Amy, Rory, and River Song (escaping yet again from her future prison) turn up in the middle of nowhere USA in response to mysterious invitations and meet an old man. The Doctor appears, casually mentioning his age (1109) and then, in what looks like mid-transformation, is killed by someone wearing an Apollo space suit. Back at a cafe the Doctor appears age 907 wondering about this mysterious invitation he received.

Whatever, the foursome pop off to 1969 where President Richard M Nixon is receiving impossible phone calls from a frightened young girl. With the aid of an ex-member of the FBI (later to be the old man who burns the Doctor's body) they track down the girl and discover that Earth has been conquered by aliens whom you forget about as soon as you turn your back on them. Oh, and Amy is and then isn't pregnant and she also shoots the person in the space suit which turns out to be the little girl.

And that's just the simplified version of the first episode.

Episode 2 opens with the companions being hunted down by the FBI led by the person we assumed was on their side. Amy and Rory are shot, River Song lets herself fall from a skyscraper window. The Doctor is in prison and soon after placed in a super-cube from which nothing (sound, light, heat, etc can escape). The bodies are placed in with him and the good guy turned bad guy seals himself in with them and turns good guy again and the previously invisible TARDIS becomes visible.

The markings on Amy's face and hands were made by her every time she sees an alien to let her know that she's seen one. The Doctor then implants a device into everyone's hand and tells them to describe what they are seeing when they encounter an alien so they can find out afterwards. This leads to a number of chilling scenes.

There is an absolute load of things going on in this episode and our heroes really go through the mill both physically and emotionally. When Amy is kidnapped by the aliens (known as The Silence) and we hear her terrified voice, she confesses her love for someone which Rory takes to be the Doctor and you can see it breaking his heart. River Song kisses the Doctor knowing it is the last time she kisses him even as it's the first time for him.

The problem of the aliens is resolved, and violently too, but many of the mysteries aren't. Who is the little girl? She appears at the end, minus space suit, and appears to undergo a Time Lord type transformation, though into what we don't see. Surreptitiously scanning Amy on the TARDIS, the Doctor sees the screen flicker between pregnant/not pregnant. We still don't know who River Song really is and we aren't so sure about Amy Pond any more.

This has been an amazingly dense and riveting start to the new series. Add in high production values, good acting with another terrific performance from Alex Kingston as the gun-happy archaeologist/adventurer River Song, and a number of laugh out loud lines, this really could be the best ever series of Dr Who. Unmissable TV.