BOOKS: I'm reading...

I seem to have got myself into the position where I have several books on the go at the same time.

I'm nearly finished Ghost Road Blues (and have been for weeks). I've just started Day of the Damned. I'm a bit further into the Chris Mullin book and I'm dipping into Men's Adventure Magazines. Final Crisis I've technically finished but I'll have to read again at least once before I put it on the shelf.

As for the books I haven't actually started...

IMAGES: Christian Bollocks (just for a laugh).

Called him up and asked him, did he?
Is this woman: a. stupid or b. a conditioned victim of the Christian patriarchy?
Or: c. Are these people total fucking morons?



I'm not sure if this actually is a joke or not.


Oh any time, sweetie.



Personally, I don't give a flying fuck WJWD



Love that sword.
Is it a coincidence that the scout's head is perfectly placed for oral sex with the clearly transgendered figure he's kneeling besides?



Another false assumption that one needs a religious foundation on which to base a personal morality.

BOOK: Men's Adventure Magazines (Taschen, 2009)

Missing off to one side are the words: Weasels ripped my flesh.

Amazon Review Title: A feast for the eyes.
Star Rating: 5

About forty pages of text in a 352 page book. The rest is a massive collection of illustrations, mostly covers and mostly in colour. I've always loved pulp illustrations for their garishness and their -argh- over the topness and these are most definitely garish and over the top.

In some ways, and I'm being deeply serious for a moment, these magazines pandered to a man's baser instincts and prejudices on a sexual and racist level as well as displaying a crude attitude towards nature as a dire threat. There's also a distinct homoerotic subtext to some of the pictures.

But mainly this is the funniest book I've -I can't say 'read, can I?- that I've seen for ages. The very crudity of the sexuality on display, the brutality, nature run rampant, are all absolutely hilarious when viewed with a modern perspective. I also defy any Frank Zappa fan to look at the cover showing a man attacked by weasels and boasting the words 'Weasels ripped my flesh' not to collapse laughing.

I particularly like the nature run rampant chapter: "Chewed to bits by giant turtles", "Flying rodents ripped my flesh" (flying -technically, gliding- rodents tend to be vegetarian), reptiles, rats, vultures, octopuses (yes, I know it's 'octopi'), fiendishly fanged gorillas, and so many more.

Oh all right, yes there are more women with big chests in various stages of undress than a normal person would want to count -busting out all over, to coin a phrase.

This is a wonderful book and an incredible bargain for price, so sit back and revisit a time when men were men, women were big and busty, and nature was red in tooth and claw and enjoy. And then give thanks we've progressed somewhat since those days.

Now if those nice people at Taschen would produce a companion volume devoted to pulp science fiction and horror magazines, I'd be happy as a pig in a muddy sty.

SOCIETY: Atheist Summer Camp Fun

Oh I do hope so.

I don't know the origin of this illustration, but I love it. It's got nothing to do with the subject except tangentially in that reflects typical right-wing Christian fears which are just under the surface of a piece about the camp in today's Daily Mail Online, a good source of right wing propaganda to either get leftily righteous about or have a good laugh at.

Okay, I'm not going to go into any great detail here. You can google it easily yourself. Suffice to say that it's a summer camp for kids in the typical tradition of summer camps all outdoor fun and communal stuff but with a theme of thinking critically about religion and teaching kids to think critically in general.

I confess that when I first heard about these camps a while ago I felt somewhat ambivalent, uncertain of any need or point. But having read more about it, I think it's a great idea as long as the emphasis is on teaching kids to think rather than indoctrinating them about atheism. My belief is that we should be able to arrive at our destination without compulsion be it as a devout theist of whatever kind or a devout atheist or anywhere else along the axis between belief and unbelief. As long as the emphasis is on thinking critically, which I take to mean, analysing ideas of whatever kind, I think it's a good idea. If you do that you don't need to ram atheism down their throats because they'll come to it naturally when they realise how ludicrous religions are.

Not untypically, The Daily Mail, while not overtly condemning these camps outright, nevertheless makes it clear where it stands. Fears of indoctrinating kids. Um, excuse me, and religious camps don't indoctrinate kids?

Christ, I fucking hate religion. When asked recently if I wanted to go to church, my reply was: Only if I can burn it down.

DVD: Zombie Strippers

Jenna Jameson, scary but undoubtedly sexy.

Okay, I'm not going to even attempt to convince you that this is a good film in any sense of the word because it isn't. It's one of those movies that want to have its cake and eat it and throw it up again and eat it again. Some of the actors commit the worse sin of all in a comedy-horror and that is by playing it laughs. Most of them, thankfully, are in the black ops team who appear at the beginning and the end where they firstly set up the scenario and then return to save the day.

In between and in the strip club where most of the movie is set, the actors do their limited best which is generally okay for this type of trash. It lives up to the title by providing plenty of zombie gore and lots of stripping and naked silicone flesh. The mcguffin is that the strippers retain their intelligence after being zombified and that the zombification improves their stripping and results in an increased clientele (some of whom, enticed into thinking they're going to get laid, provide munchies for the hungry girls). Retired porn star Jenna Jameson is the top stripper and first to turn and performs quite adequately in every sense of the word. Robert Englund is the greedy owner who quite happily rakes in the money at the expense of a few partially eaten and then zombified men who he locks up in the basement. Bizarrely the audience numbers increase the more the strippers' bodies start to decay. I couldn't quite see the appeal myself, but different strokes...

The writer/director pretends to give the movie some significance by having the strippers all suffering from existential angst and quoting from various philosophers. It's a con but nevertheless I found it quite a funny con.The bar is called Rhino and Englund's character is Ian Essko. Feel free to groan.

So, extreme gore, attractive naked women, laughs. What's the problem?








Post Script

A revised and slightly better version of this review is now up on Amazon.

AMAZON VINE: The Natives Are Restless

Photo: An Amazon vine.
























As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm a member of the Amazon Vine program and have been since it was launched in October 2007. You have to be invited to join and to qualify for selection you have to be a regular reviewer on Amazon UK. Once you have been invited you submit a list of items you are particularly interested in. This list will form the basis of a personalised individual selection of items.

On the third Thursday of every month at 8.00pm you can either log on to your Amazon Vine account or wait a few minutes for an email (not recommended) when a list of items of which you can select (usually) up to four, assuming you are up to date with your reviews of previous items. The following Thursday at the same time and on offer to every Viner, there is a list of remaining items which were not selected the previous week, of which you can pick up to two, assuming you are up to date, etc, etc. The items for review often arrive on the Saturday of the same week i.e. within 42 hours which is pretty damn good. Those packers must work damned hard.

There is no time limit on how long you can take to write the reviews -I have two DVDs still outstanding from months back- it just limits the number of items you can select. There is absolutely no pressure to write a favourable review. NONE. At all. My rating on Vine reviews range from the minimum 1 star rating (it stinks) to 5 stars (all hail the coming of the messiah).

Amazon also provide a forum for Viners to discuss matters of interest to fellow Viners and I am currently an active participant.

What Amazon does not do is tell you how the system works, though you can email them on an individual basis if you have a problem. Of course the answers may not be consistent.

A few months ago one Viner enquired how unwanted items, after being reviewed, can be disposed of. Apparently giving them to charity shops is okay but nothing else. Then recently I raised the matter of selling them and donating the proceeds to the charity shops as this would raise more money than the peanuts the shop would make. I have taken books from Animal Krackers shelves and sold them through Amazon Marketplace for, even after Amazon's cut and the postage, about three times what the shop would have made.

Amazon's answer was: no. And: no you can't give them to charity shops either. Only the total and utter destruction of the item would be deemed less than unacceptable otherwise you must keep them forever. I may be dramatising a wee bit.

However, since these answer were quoted, both have been removed from the forum by Amazon, as if they can't make up their own minds. My own view is that we should be able to do what we like with them but I can't, not if I want to stay in Vine.

But that's by the by. What happened last night seems to have caused a bit of a stink.

Flashback to a week ago, the third Thursday in the month, the individualised list. As usual most of my list was rubbish (the technical Vine term for books, of which there are always more of than everything else put together and trebled), but also some software (of which I've had enough lately), a couple of DVDs (horror and anime, picked the latter because I already knew the horror was crap), but also a pair of Sennheiser earphones which I grabbed. (Both are reviewed below.)

There was quite a lot of other good stuff (the technical Vine term for expensive electronic/ electrical gear) which I found out about on the forum. Within minutes of every list appearing, there are usually several discussions about what we got/wasn't it crap (i.e. lots of books)/ I got some good stuff (i.e. expensive electrical/ electronic gear)/ etc.

There also seemed to be an influx of newbies on the forum asking the usual questions which were all answered in a kindly and informative manner by older hands such as myself. Amazon clearly had a recruiting drive as, presumably, some people had dropped out.

As usual, we were all waiting with bated breath for the open to all list with the rubbish (i.e. mostly books) that were left over from the previous week. And so it seemed when the list first appeared, then it suddenly changed and we had 5 pages of it. I clicked on to the last page where the good stuff (i.e. expensive... is this joke wearing a bit thin?) usually is. And I was confronted with several sets of Sennheiser ear and headphones, plus really good stuff (i.e. electronic items which cost over a hundred quid) none of which I wanted but I did manage to get a £80.00 rechargeable shaver (useful as my current one is clapped out) and I picked a pair of headphones to use when I watch DVDs on my pc (i.e. every night).

I would imagine the urge to grab the good stuff is a bit like an electronic equivalent of a school of piranhas in a feeding frenzy in that it doesn't last very long but is certainly furious.

What happened is that a few people got caught out. They saw the initial list and grabbed whatever looked vaguely interesting. As I have plenty of books at home I haven't read, I'm very picky when it comes to selecting one from Vine basically because the likely reward (small in terms of pleasure) is outweighed by the time and effort involved in reading and reviewing it.

So people got caught out, missed the good stuff and got lumbered with the rubbish.

Within minutes the forum was crackling with thunder and lightning as, mostly newbies started complaining about being caught. One called us older and wiser hands 'professional reviewers' as if we had an extra advantage. In fact many of us (not me, as already noted) got caught out as well.

But that is, as we said, how it goes. There was a mistake on Amazon's part in not releasing everything at once. But I suppose these things happen, though there are mumblings (not entirely in jest) of a social experiment being conducted by Amazon.

Also, as we experienced Viners keep reminding people, we are getting free stuff. As a fellow Viner pointed out: It's like a lottery that you win every time. Sometimes you might only win a tenner and sometimes a fair bit more, but you always win. Isn't that great? (The question is rhetorical and I agree with the answer.)

But it would help if Amazon were more open and more reasonable. It's not a perfect system but it is the only game in town and the only one you win at every time.


Post Script
I'm currently 683 in the reviewer ranking..

Which reminds me of an interesting fact about Vine reviews. A number of Viners using the forum (including myself) have found that their Vine reviews receive far more unhelpful votes than their non-Vine reviews. These are clearly the efforts of individuals attempt to nobble the 'competition' as if there was some kind of prize for climbing the rankings.

I review because it's fun and it is nice to see people leaving 'helpful' votes as it means I've done something positive. And I do get annoyed at an unhelpful vote when I can't for the life of me see how a particular review could be unhelpful; some I can (Warren Ellis brings out the snarky-sarky in me for some reason).

But a highish ranking means that a number of people have appreciated the work you've put into your reviews and that, in its own way, is satisfying.

PERSONAL GROOMING: I Cut My Hair (And I Liked It)

I really meant to try it.

And that's enough of that. I was going do this whole entry as a parody of that song but it wasn't original and it wasn't that funny in the first place, so-

I cut my hair; not just a quick snip of some sticky-up bit; not sticking tiny scissors up by nose; and not trimming back the ear hair. (I used to work with someone whose ear hair was so long and thick you could have taken a brush and comb to it and styled it.) No, this morning I cut my hair, for the first time ever, with a professional pair of Wahl Super Taper Hair Clippers. I could have bought a cheaper pair of Wahls but opted for the professional and better reviewed item. The cheaper one came with an instructional DVD, the professional didn't, Mr or Ms Wahl obviously assuming it wasn't necessary. Pity.

The reason I decided to give it a try was because I don't like going to the barber's and put it off as long as possible and then have it very short -No.2 setting. Deciding that it couldn't be that difficult, I thought I may as well do it myself and, over time, save money.

After doing it, I took my wife a cup of tea in bed and pointed out what I'd done. She wasn't impressed. The top was almost acceptable but I could not go out in public with the back of my head as it was. I went back downstairs and had another go. She still wasn't happy but allowed that I could be seen in public.

I went swimming.

Then, it being Wednesday morning, met Denise & Sylvia, my two retired ex-colleagues, for coffee. As they're always willing to find something about me to laugh at I told them what I'd done. Surprisingly they found my efforts perfectly acceptable. "Let's face it," Sylvia said, "who looks at you anyway?" She meant it in a general sense rather than personal. I think.

For a first attempt I'm reasonably pleased and should do better next time. As long as it's reasonably short I'm quite happy with my hair so, as Susan prefers it a bit longer, I might use the No.3 setting next time.

DVD: Claymore Chapters 1 & 2 (2 discs, 228 mins, 2009)

Amazon review title: Women with big swords. (Revised & expanded from its original appearance, heh)
Rating: 4 stars

To be honest, I wasn't expecting much of this. The last couple of mangas I'd watched had either been genuine kids stuff or giant robots, so this came as a refreshing change.

First off, it keeps things simple. In a fantasy world, a group of women warriors known as Claymores (after their swords) are genetically altered and trained to fight shape-changing man-eating monsters called the Youma. The first three episodes introduce the world, Clare the warrior and the boy she befriends. Then we find out Clare's origin which focuses on Claymore No.1 (they are ranked according to ability) who has taken her, as child, under her wing. The final three episodes bring us back to the present where Clare joins a group of Claymores hunting a very different kind of monster.

And that's basically it in nearly four hours and ten episodes and it works very well. I like the uncluttered feel of it all, the simplicity of the physical settings, both town and country. In a way, it works because it lacks depth. The cast is small and the focus is narrow.

The animation is fairly typical for TV in the lack of detailed backgrounds, having characters who only move their mouth, stock character designs, lots of still panning, but you quickly get used to this. There's also a bleached effect rather than the expected visual assault of primary colours. The lack of detail also makes the violence, which is more gruesome to describe than to watch, more acceptable. I think the 15 rating is rather harsh despite the severed limbs which litter the screen. Though there is a subtle accusation that Clare is using the boy in an inappropriate manner (she isn't).

It could be argued that this is aimed more at a female audience with its predominantly female characters but this presupposes that teenage boys won't watch nubile limb-severing monster-killing women. I know I'd have jumped at the chance.

With the implications that the world is a more complicated place than has been so far revealed, I actually want to find out what happens next which I suppose is as good a recommendation as any. Wonder if that nice Mr Amazon Vine will send the second DVD, due out real soon.

One last thing, the Claymores have a psychic connection to the monsters so you can say that, despite their normally dour manner, they do have a sense of Youma.

I GOT IT TODAY: 9

Two freebies from the Amazon Vine program. Once a month members of Vine (who are invited to join by Amazon) are sent a personalised list of items they can select for review. Mostly it's books I rarely want to read, sometimes software, occasionally a DVD or two. It can be hit or miss but it tends towards miss. I'm not really complaining as, hell, they're freebies and all Amazon ask in return is a review. They also send them out very quickly -I order on Thursday evening and they often arrive by Saturday morning. This month's order arrived yesterday and I got-

DVD: Claymore (Manga, 2009, 2 discs, 228mins)
I'm about halfway through and so far it's a little better than I was expecting.

EAR PHONES: Sennheiser CX 300-II ECO Noise-Isolating Ear-Canal Phones - Black
Here's my Amazon review.

Amazon Title: Wow!
Rating: 5 stars.
First time I've ever used this manufacturer's ear phones but it certainly won't be the last. The machine is my 160Gb Ipod Classic. The earpieces fitted perfectly snugly into (wait for it) my ears and then I began with a test to destruction.

Neil Young (with guest Chrissie Hynd's) balls against the wall sonic assault on 'All Along The Watchtower' on loud and it just about fried my brain. This is a good thing. Despite the volume everything came over perfectly and, yes, the bass, was great.

Next up Lady Gaga's 'I like it rough' for a synthesiser test. Perfect.

Next up a little Blues courtesy my main man Lightnin' Slim. Man, I coulda been in the studio down on the bayou.

Finally Fotheringay (Sandy Denny's) 'Banks of the Nile', as delicate and haunting a piece of folk-rock as has ever been heard. And, yes, even this oh so familiar piece had just the faintest extra resonance.

Oh yes, these are good and do what they say they do. Sennheiser CX 300-II ECO Noise-Isolating Ear-Canal Phones - Black rock!

DVD: Jekyll (BBC 2007)

Until almost literally the last second, I was going to give this a complete rave review as one of the best SF dramas I've seen. A hugely entertaining 5hr30min that kept piling on twist after twist, was laced with humour, scares, violence, gore, and drama and just never let up.

It had a terrific cast with James Nesbitt (not an actor I've ever been keen on) giving a tour de force performance as Dr Jackman/Hyde in which he goes from Oscar Wilde wit to Hannibal Lecter homicidal mania in the blink of an eye. Gina Bellman at first appears a docile wife but soon reveals a fascinating and complex character; I'd always considered Bellman as little more than eye candy but I was wrong, she is an outstanding actress able to counter Nesbitt at his maddest. Add Denis Lawson doing urbane sinister, Paterson Joseph wild-eyed and manically witty (and American!), Meera Syal as a caustic private detective and Fenella Woolgar (Agatha Christie in Dr.Who) as Syal's assistant and pregnant lover, and Michelle Ryan doing pretty but intelligent and sensitive as the psychiatric nurse.

And Steven (Dr.Who) Moffit's dialogue is razor-sharp.

All I can say is: Woah!

So why did they did they totally fuck it up at the last second with a twist which completely destroyed the entire point of the fucking series?

The premise is that an outwardly respectable medical research company is exploiting the legacy of Dr.Jekyll and that they've known for years what's going to happen to James Nesbitt and they want to exploit his alter ego. In the last second we find out that the mastermind of the company is exactly the same sort of monster that Hyde is. Leaving out the twist would have left a loose end but wouldn't have hurt it the way the twist does.

I'm heartbroken.

If I ever watch it again, I'm going to stop it before the final scene and pretend it never happened. Until then it was great, great, great.

I GOT IT TODAY: 8

DVD: Jekyll (BBC 2007)
I missed this 6-part series when it was shown on TV but people who did catch it told me enough to think I'd probably like it. I'm halfway through and it's terrific. I waited until I could get it for less than a fiver though.

DVD: Zombie Strippers (2008)
Another one I waited until it was really cheap -less than four quid. Just hope it's better than a similar-themed thing I saw on Zone Horror recently.

CD: Neil Young - Fork In The Road (2009)
His latest, getting good reviews and the samples on Amazon sounded interesting. Played it once and think it'll grow on me very quickly. Incidentally, I've decided that the Neil Young album I enjoy the most is the much-maligned Re.ac.tor

GRAPHIC STORY: Manhunter -Forgotten (DC 2009)
Last, and weakest, in a highly regarded but poor selling series.

GRAPHIC STORY: Asterios Polyp written/drawn by David Mazzucchelli (Pantheon 2009)
Tipped as being the graphic novel of the year, it's a lengthy, clearly told, but very subtle and philosophical story that's going to take me a while and several readings to fully appreciate; but I like it.

Post Script

Don't take 'I Got It Today' literally, though it did start out like that.

I've now played the Neil Young CD a couple of more times and put it up on my Amazon marketplace list along with the Manhunter GN. I'm not sure if it's me or if he's finally lost it. I've also just sold the Archives box set for £53.86 less than two days after putting it on.

Odd coincidence here. This morning I went to pick up and pay for a packet from the parcels office which didn't have enough (actually no) postage on it (which turned out to be a DVD that had gone missing and I'd been refunded for), and a non-delivered packet for Susan's mother -the card had been laying around the house for weeks. That packet contained a box full of the super efficient lightbulbs which are sent out free to pensioners (we've got loads). The box actually turned out to be the perfect size and shape to fit the Neil Young Archives. Kismet!

Or should that be Synchronicity! Or what's that word I remembered a moment ago but have now forgotten but might resemble Catweazle!

Fades into incoherence...



















Serendipity!

NEWSPAPERS: The Daily Mail Is At It Again

The headline to a piece about the above book goes like this-

Rape, abortion, incest. Is this what CHILDREN should read?

The book itself is a well-received teenage novel which does indeed deal with the above subjects. However, to obfuscate the matter The DM writer, Danuta Kean, while stating it is for teenagers seems to equate teenager with child and the word 'child' is used frequently instead of it.

She writes: Her book may be elegantly written, but it's hard not to shudder at the kind of nightmares an 11- year-old would have if they picked it up. She goes on to write: ...this is a distorted image that owes much to the soft porn pumped out almost daily by Channel 4 in shows like Big Brother and the controversial teen drama Skins

I don't watch Big Brother but I certainly do watch Skins (see my earlier entry for details) and the one thing it isn't is soft porn. Neither is the rest of C4's output but what the hell it's a good smear.

Typically of the Daily Mail, Kean appears to present both sides of the argument while shoving in loaded statements such as the one above and casting doubts on the motives of those who would support the book.

I was so annoyed by this article that I submitted my own opinion on the matter to them, including my own experiences (nothing drastic but nevertheless...) of paedophilia. Oh, all right: a swimming baths attendant who used to expose himself to barely pubescent boys, forced his way into cubicles to touch the genitals of his favourites -not me, thankfully; then there was the guy on my Sunday paper round where I had to collect the money who always had his pajama fly wide open when he answered the door.

They didn't print it. Perhaps they didn't like my conclusion:
It's ignorance which harms children, not knowledge.

ANIMAL KRACKERS DAY OUT

Richie, Edie, and me (wearing my own creation).


Susan on the other side of our table.


Another view from our table.

This was an event organised by the local government funded group Back On The Map. It's a fun thing with lots of entertainment but also stalls from a variety of local groups and was held at Valley Road Primary School and Community Centre in Hendon. As you can see it was a sunny day which always helps and there was a nice feel to the entire thing. A very family-orientated event with something for everyone from the very young to old farts like me.

Hendon is a somewhat deprived area of Sunderland about a half mile from where we live and from Animal Krackers shop; as such we are part of the Hendon Community and have had some funding from Back on the Map. It's an area with high unemployment, a lot of cheap rented housing, its own probation office, a significant Bangla Deshi community (a high proportion by Sunderland standards, low in comparison to almost any other British city), and also a fairly active British National Party which still manages to completely fail to attract enough votes to win a council seat, plus a high level of crime and drugs. Despite this I rather like the place and a couple of my ex-colleague from the library service live there quite happily. Despite all the problems there is a strong sense of community.

We were attending just to maintain our profile and to raise some money. We had three tables packed with stuff and all aimed at kids. We had lucky bags (parcels really) for boys and for girls, and a Teddy Tombola -pick a ticket and win the cuddly toy with the matching number -everyone a winnah! Everything a pound. We went through all our lucky bags in less than two hours and had only a quarter of our cuddly toys left at the end and had made £154.00 between 11.00-2.30 (though we'd been there since 10.00 setting up).

As I said, there was plenty going on over several areas. I felt sorry for my old mate Ronnie who was in charge of the mobile library and who had the misfortune to be parked between a police car where kids could get in and sound the siren which they did quite often and a band of drummers who drummed loudly and often. The British Army were doing their usual promotion and had erected a climbing tower (see bottom photo) which looked fun for kids of all ages but I managed to restrain myself. Right next to where we were was the stage. Organised by the local radio station, it organised games for kids, played records, and hosted live music including a group of violin playing schoolchildren (rather nice) and a singer with his electric guitar (whose voice was often flat). Fortunately the speakers were facing away from us so we weren't flattened by the sound. Around eleven I felt peckish so I had a nice carton of chips (or french fries if there are any Americans reading this) from a greasy food van and a for lunch a nice and spicy lamb curry from the van on the other side of the stage to us. If there were any racial tensions then the racists stayed away and everyone was very nice.

To be honest, I usually try and get out of going to things like this but it really was a very pleasant day.

CD: Simon & Garfunkel The Collection

Back in 1967 I was about to buy my first record, my first vinyl album, and it was going to be one of two. One of the choices was Simon & Garfunkel's 'Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme' which, like my other choice, I'd heard at the college in Lancashire I'd started attending the previous year. Money being tight, I wanted to make the right choice. In the end I chose the other one and, several weeks later, bought my second choice. It seems as if this choice has dictated my musical taste for the rest of my life because the first album I bought was John Mayall, Eric Clapton Bluesbreakers, the seminal, electric guitar dominated, piece of British Blues. And ever since, I've always preferred the rawer end of the musical spectrum, though there has always been a place for the tasteful side.

Just look at my two latest purchases: Neil Young Archives vol.1 (see previous entry) and this one. The period both cover is almost identical. Spooky.

The Collection, however, is simply a remastered collection of their five studio albums with a number of additional bonus tracks, some 'new' songs, some alternative versions; though there is the bonus of a live DVD of the 1981 reunion concert. And it cost me a staggering £8.95. No, I didn't miss a 0 after the 8 or put the decimal point in the wrong place. It cost a tenth of the going UK rate for Young's Archives and was an impulse buy when I saw it in a shop in Newcastle yesterday. (Turns out even Amazon is selling it for £4.00 more. Sweet.)

Yes, but is it any good?

Well, of course it is, though it's decades since I last heard any of it and as such I find I have a different perspective on it. The first three albums in particular are a young man's music, full of romance, cynicism, disillusionment, hope, and social awareness with a wistfulness of touch and an almost unknowing naivety. They are the story of Paul Simon discovering his voice and learning about music and that it's possible to utilize rock instrumentation in the service of folk without abandoning, as Dylan did around the same time, the folk elements.

This, by today's standards, is low key music, beautifully played and gorgeously quietly sung so that you have to strain to hear the exquisite harmonies. I'd forgotten just how wonderful Art Garfunkel's voice was.

Songs I haven't heard for years come back vividly, surprising me with their delicacy and brevity and how appropriate that is, like a glass of chilled fresh lemonade on a blisteringly hot summer's day. This is music that was part of my youth but nearly forgotten in the sonic assault of the countless loud heavy and blues guitar solos I've listened to since. But it isn't a part of today. No matter how beautiful it can be it brings back a part of my past, of times long gone, suffused with nostalgia.

But that's okay too.

MOVE ALONG

Move along. Nothing to see here. Nothing new today.

Come back soon, y'hear.

DVD: True Blood Season 1 (2009)

The latest cult tv series, which has just started to air in the UK, arrives on Region 1 DVD and is it worth the hype that's been generated about it? Is this really the greatest fantasy series since Buffy?

For the first three episodes I wasn't sure. It took a little while to get into it, partly because of the way it was filmed; lacking the glossy image of film, it almost seemed cheap. The local Louisiana accent seemed somewhat stilted to me too. Then, of course, there's the introduction of a whole new bunch of characters and for a while I sometimes got confused between two of the male leads. It also seemed a lot darker than the books (or so memory tells me) while remaining quite faithful. I was enjoying it certainly, but it didn't click home until around episode 3 and then-

Fuck me, this is really good.

It also makes Buffy look like the Sarah Jane Adventures -tea-time viewing. True Blood is rough stuff. The violence alone will earn it an 18 rating when the UK DVD is finally released. But then so will the explicit sex which verges on being soft-core porn with its nudity and positions other than the missionary one. And also the language which, if not quite as frequent as Goodfellas, is nevertheless frequent. Put together this series is not for the sensitive and squeamish.

Gore and sex alone, however, do not make for a good program. Though they don't hurt either. The characters, once you get to know them, are strong and interesting and well played by the leads, four of whom are shown above with the two romantic leads on top. Underneath is Sam, the sympathetic bar owner with a secret, and Tara, our heroine's best friend and motormouth and my favourite character. There are more, in particular Lafayette, Tara's cousin, cook at Sam's bar, and also tough guy, effeminate gay, and drug dealer -I like him too. Then there's also Josh, Sookie's black sheep brother. These are the key characters but then is also a large supporting cast with important roles to play.

I'm deliberately not going to write too much about the plot because it's best enjoyed with as few preconceptions as possible. I will tell you that it's likely to go in directions you don't expect including people you thought would be in it to the end. There's much more to it than just a supernatural love story. There is a very blatant subtext which two items make explicitly clear. A sign that reads: God Hates Fangs. Remove the 'n' and what have you got? Then there's the news item where Vermont makes vampire marriage legal. And that Alan Ball, the talented creator of the series, is himself openly gay. Vampires have always been a commonly used metaphor for the outsider figure but here the metaphor is very specific. By the way, this isn't a criticism, I like the very pointedness of it. It gives the series an extra resonance.

At the end the ongoing serial killer thread is resolved and elements have been put in place for season 2 and, I've since learned, there's going to be a lesbian vampire Queen of New Orleans appearing. And I've got to wait a whole year to see it. God dayum.

I GOT IT TODAY: 7

DVD: Godzilla Against MechaGodzilla (2003)

This is the best MechaGodzilla yet. The movie is well made, Godzilla himself is a lean sharp-faced mother of monster, and the two fight sequences are excellent.

A full review has been posted on Amazon UK.

Post Script

Please note that Godzilla fans are easily pleased.

ATTACKED BY A BEAST

Yes, I was attacked by a savage beast today, by a truly wild animal. It sank its teeth into my flesh, raking open the tissues causing blood to flow. The pain was overwhelming but I refused to let the creature win. I would master it!





Oh, alright, it was a mouse.

I'd popped out into the garden and saw Max, one of our black and white cats, bounce something with a paw. It could only be a mouse so I went to get it. Surprisingly, it wasn't dead so I gently cupped it in my hands. The mouse, however, wasn't going quietly. It squirmed free, getting out onto the back of my hand and sank its tiny teeth in. It actually did pierce the skin causing it to bleed.

I popped the mouse into a plastic bucket and put it on a table while I went to wash the tiny wound which now resembles the bite of a vampire from Liliput. When the cats had all wandered off, I released the mouse into some shrubbery next to the fence.

And that is it.

DVD: Tokyo Gore Police

This DVD you will either rush to buy or hope to avoid for the rest of your life. For the first time since my early teens, and after watching the opening sequence, I began to wonder if I could actually stay the course of watching a horror film. Thankfully, the gore set-pieces were paced throughout the running time.

This isn't a good film and at times, because of unexplained cutting from one scene to another, difficult to follow. Also I didn't recognisable one cop when, out of samurai-stylised uniform, he transformed into a total idiot who wrongly thought himself the coolest dude in the city. Characterization is minimal -there are only really two, our heroine and main villain, everyone else is a cipher at best.

The satirical elements -tv ads for some form of violence such as having chirpy teen girls promoting small knives to use for self-harm- are wincingly effective.

However, the selling point are the surreal images and the over the top gore (often one and the same) and good grief it is over the top, piling image after image you never imagined in your entire life and the one (if you're male) you might fearfully have imagined then you certainly hoped that you never would see.

I feel deeply ashamed of myself to admit that I did enjoy this film and, worse, that I'll watch it again some time in the future. In mitigation, all I can say is that it is a black black unreal comedy which displays a remarkable, albeit appalling, invention, rather than being a witless sadistic slasher. It may not leave you stirred but it will quite likely leave you shaken.

Post Script

I actually wanted to include a still from this movie instead of the poster but I couldn't find one that was both interesting and not completely disgusting and I am trying to exercise some modicum of good taste in this blog.

This review was published on Amazon UK on 5th March 2009.

CD: Neil Young Archives Vol. 1

There's a lot of wonderful music on here but there's a fair bit that isn't.

The earliest tracks are basically juvenilia. Neil isn't even trying to find his voice, though he does manage to find Hank Marvin's. But no-one with any sense expected it to be otherwise; they are an historical curio and that's about it. Once we get past those and the Buffalo Springfield material we start to find the real Neil Young even then there are a number of so-so songs. But then there are also a lot of the great ones too. I suppose the big disappointment is that there are no unheard of unreleased gems. Bruce Springsteen could issue a massive box set of unreleased brilliant material but not, it would appear, our Neil.

However, my biggest grouch, my only real one to be honest, isn't the music, it's the presentation and the cost.

Basically it's a disgustingly shoddy package for the price.

A long box which folds into two to reveal four discs in each compartment. Anyone care to guess how long it will be before the hinge splits and we're left with two smaller boxes? Mine is starting to tear already.

Then's there's bits of adhesive from the binding which has got onto the discs themselves. (I got my copy from the States, if the UK box wasn't produced there, you may not find this.) It doesn't stop the CDs from playing perfectly but it doesn't look very good. But then neither do the cheapo individual CD cases themselves -a bit cardboard with just the disc and nothing to protect it.

As for documentation, there's this pointless long sheet of paper with a handwritten list of titles on the top of files. The booklet is cramped and difficult to read, consisting purely of text about track details, just hard factual details. The most clear list of contents, which provides basic useful track details, is on the cellophane wrapper and I nearly threw that away. Even then it omits running times which is something I always like to see.

There is no biographical material at all.

For this we're expected to pay around £90.00? And just to add insult to injury, as other reviewers have pointed out, the set includes two previously released live CDs which anyone remotely interested in this box set will already have. So effectively we're only getting 6 CDs for our money.

At even half the price this would be overpriced. Still, the music remains mostly pretty damned good. I just wish I didn't have this sour taste in my mouth.

Post Script

A slightly different version of this review was submitted to Amazon.

BLOGGIVERSARY

No, no, no, no!

I will not use that word again. I hate conflated words like that and blame Joss Whedon for it -Buffyverse, argh! This is something up with which I will not put.

Apart from that I've been doing this for exactly a month now and I have to say I'm very pleased with it. I believe I'm a decent writer and there's a fair variety of material which at least reflects some of my interests. There's much more I want to write about so if you have been reading the blog, expect it to grow and widen in terms of content. I think there's a nice balance between serious stuff and humour. I'm also surprised how much fun I'm having writing it.

Okay, that's me patting myself on the back over with. Normal service will be resumed with the next entry and at least this was short.

CAT RESCUE: Getting it wrong.

Seaham is a small coastal town just a couple of miles south of Sunderland. Like many north east towns it used to have a pit (as in coal). Coal mining in the region was very strong. Even Sunderland, world famous once upon a time for its shipbuilding had several pits including one where Sunderland Association Fooball team now play; it's filled in and covered by the Stadium of Light.

Faded glories, all gone.

The main street of Seaham facing out to sea is quite attractive with its mix of the new and the old Victorian buildings. But behind it is a picture of a struggle to overcome decline with its blend of new buildings, council housing, and rusting, but some still functioning, factories.

It was in the ground of one of these factories that a nice lady feeds feral cats at the same time every day. I'd come to pick up the one cat that wasn't feral (pictured above) but was in, she said, declining condition. So we turned up and so did a feral black cat. Then a little feral female tabby which usually hung around with the one I'd come for. After half an hour and when I was just about to give up, it arrived. Allowing me to stroke it, I grabbed it and bagged it, took it home, placed it in the cage, gave it food and water and left it overnight.

Next morning, swimming at 7.30, 8.15 collect female cat for neutering and deliver to vets. Unfortunately, this little sweet house cat didn't want to go in the cat carrier, though go it did, but when I arrived at the vets it had burst out and hidden under the passenger seat. Five minutes later and some noticeable blood loss, I handed it over.

Home and I got the rescued cat into the van and headed to Stray Aid (see previous posts). The reaction I got wasn't what I expected. Instead I found myself on the receiving end of a lecture about rescuing stray cats when there was no way of ascertaining that they were indeed stray. That this could open us up to being sued for catnapping (no joke). I offered to take it back but Sue the vet (pun unintended), not the person who delivered the lecture that being her husband, was concerned about the cat's condition -it being very apathetic.

To cut a short story even shorter: it had feline leukemia and was put to sleep.

But basically, when someone gets in touch and say she's (it's always a she) worried about a stray cat, we (that is me, as representing Animal Krackers) can't, in law, do anything expect tell her to get in touch with the RSPCA who are allowed to rescue stray cats; except they'll probably do nothing.

I'm not feeling happy about the entire thing and will probably take it up another time.

NEWSPAPERS: The Daily Mail and Girls Kissing Girls

I don't like newspapers with a right wing agenda, newspapers such as the Daily Express and the Dail Mail in particular, those middle class bastions of a Little Britain mentality. Disguised by respectability and writers who can string a series of coherent sentences together, they put over views I generally disagree with. It's not just their political agenda that I dislike, more that it's their views on society and culture which get right up my nose and none more so than an article I read on their website this morning. Here's the headline-

Lipstick lesbians: How this kiss sparked a teenage trend that will disturb every parent

The image is the old one of Madonna kissing Britney. This apparently has set a trend for middle class girls to kiss each other, usually at parties. The article seems relatively straight forward, getting quotes from girls of the targeted age group who generally express that they see nothing wrong with it and it rarely goes any further.

But this isn't enough for the Daily Mail and the writer, Penny Marshall, spends some time looking at celebrities who get easy publicity by kissing a girl in public or by admitting previous bisexual dalliances. Bad girls!

Marshall reports that psychologist Donna Dawson warns that such things can lead to problems - as a result of undue peer pressure.

'Some impressionable young girls may be influenced to behave in a way they really don't want to. It's a trend they may feel they have to latch on to.'


Marshall concludes that, And while the ordinary young girls who set out to copy them ( i.e. celebrities) might feel they are being terribly grown-up and cool, the reality is that such behaviour can compromise both their dignity and self-respect.

Hang on a minute. We're talking about having a quick (or even maybe not so quick) snog with a mate. They aren't suddenly turning into man-hating dykes. They aren't doing anything which is going to scar them for life. Chances are they'll have a laugh about it later. They are kissing someone. They aren't mainlining heroin, selling themselves to disease-ridden men, or knifing someone. What they are doing is harmless and nice and fun.

But this is typical Daily Mail right wing morality. This time, however, they seem to have shot themselves in the foot because, when checking out the comments on the piece the general feeling is very similar to mine and those that agree with Marshall get a lot of negative ratings. It's also pointed out that this is hardly new behaviour among teenagers.

I'm so annoyed that from now on I am going to stop reading the Femail Today celebrity column.

Bugger.