Wednesday, 8 February 2012


I came across this when reading comments on a short video shown on C4's 4thought in which openly lesbian actor Heather Peace argues that gays should be allowed to marry in church. This got the following reply from Kspec 37:

What bugs me is this. God is against homosexuality, its in his word. So why do thy need to be married in his house ? God does not contradict or change so he will not bless this. I am for homosexual couples having human rights and they not be treated any other way just because of their sexual orientation. But as far as getting married and having children I really cannot condone it. 

Which resulted in the following reply:

megamouth 06 Feb 2012 23:34

Dear Kspec37.
You are certainly entitled to your own opinion, just as we are ALL entitled to equal rights under the law. You mention that “ God is against homosexuality, its in his word.” ? Unless God spoke directly to you with this information recently (in which case I am sure we would have heard of you by now) I can only assume it is his word via the Bible you are speaking of?
For example, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. Or Leviticus 5, which states you shall not lie with a male as you would lie with a female. Or Leviticus 20.13 which states: A man who sleeps with another man is an abomination and should be executed?
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighbouring nations. I am from Canada and a friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Americans. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Americans?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual "uncleanliness" - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
Leviticus is a holiness code written 3,000 years ago. It also includes prohibitions against tattoos, working on the Sabbath, eating pork or shellfish and getting your fortune told.
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Oh and one other for you: “Judge not, that ye be not judged.”- Matthew 7:1-5.
Your adoring fan.
P.S.: I would really like to own an American, anything you can do to help me with that in God’s eyes would be greatly appreciated. 

All praise the great and wonderful Megamouth for his/her brilliant comment. Funniest thing I've read this year (and last, probably). Sheer genius.

Reprinted without permission but I'm sure Megamouth won't mind.

No comments: