Friday, 3 December 2010


I'm on three different types of pills and every so often I have my bloods checked a week before one of my bi-monthly visits to my GP, a pleasant practical woman old enough to have a  daughter in her late teens. The results of this current lot of testing were very good: things were either as they should be or better. My liver, despite me drinking about two thirds of a bottle of red wine a night, is in better shape than hers.

Great, super!

Then I had my flu jab and by early evening I had come down with a rip-snorting cold. 

Sleep that night (we're talking yesterday) was disturbed by periods of wakefulness and hallucinatory dreams and a cat wanting to be out at two in the morning and a cat wanting to lie on top of me and purr. When I woke at 6.30 I still felt lousy. Surprisingly, within half an hour or so I was starting to perk up and changed my mind about cancelling the checkup of the cat I'd recently rescued (see Catrescuing blog for 29th November).

I took her along to the vets who confirmed that she was indeed a healthy youngish and neutered adult female. When I got back home, Susan insisted I go and get the slow puncture in the van fixed. By this time I'd started to feel rough again but I duly did as I was told and ending up standing in the freezing cold for half an hour. No fun. Got home and there was a letter from the Sunderland Health Authority.

I knew what it was. Every couple of years adults over 60 have to take some faecal samples and send them in so they can be checked for signs of bowel cancer. After the first one I had to do a second because the results were unclear. And this letter was the result of the test. Here are the second and third sentences -their use of Bold.

"This has shown an abnormal result. Most abnormal results are not caused by cancer." They cite piles as a possible cause. Alas I had some removed 22 years ago and they don't normally return and there is nothing in my experience to suggest they have.

So they are going to send me for a colonoscopy and have booked a consultation with a screening practitioner on Tuesday who will, hopefully give me a date. Presumably this is to put my mind at ease. What it will be is a chance to play smug knowitall git as I had one four years ago when I was hospitalised with uncontrollable diarrhea and pneumonia.

Now: am I bovvered? Oddly, no. I feel rather phlegmatic about the whole thing. Why worry when so far it's only a theoretical possibility? 

Have I got one of these inside me?

I'll keep you informed.

No comments: