Friday, 13 January 2012
DVD REVIEW: SCI-FI INVASIONS (MILL CREEK, 2011, 12 DISCS), PART 2
See previous post for the general intro to this box set. I should have mentioned that the transfers are generally so poor that on my 23inch monitor they look blurry so I generally reduce the size to less that half in order to get a picture that is watchable. As for things like subtitles; you must be joking.
The good girl
Our hero (centre)
War Of The Robots (1978)
This is actually the second film on the disc but I couldn't find photos for the first on Google, but these are better anyway. This does count as invasion though it's the humans invading the alien planet in search of the kidnapped scientist who is the only one who knows the codes to stop a nuclear meltdown (sloppy organisation there) and the hero's girlfriend. Spoiler alert: see above, it's the photo labelled 'the villains'. The good girl is hopelessly in love with the hero who only has eyes for his siren girlfriend (who the scientist has the hots for) and at the end has to choose which one to save. Spoiler alert: there's a happy end. The space battles are excruciatingly bad (a year after Star Wars). The dubbing is by English actors including one who has to adopt a southern drawl. The robots are terrible shots, probably because their guns go poo poo wing! as opposed to the humans whose guns go wing wing poo! and hit every time. The sets are terrible though a couple of Italian (probably somewhere in Rome) external locations look okay. There is a story but it really isn't worth repeating.
Hands of Steel (1986)
Not an invasion film. In the near polluted future, an evil polluting industrialist (John Saxon in a guest role) sends a cyborg to kill an elderly blind crippled environmentalist -what a stinker! But the cyborg is starting to get his human memories back and only puts the ebce in hospital and so has to go on the run from everyone. The first half of the film isn't really interesting but around the halfway mark the action picks up and just doesn't stop. We find out that the cyborg (our hero) is invulnerable to bullets but he can get beaten up pretty badly. There's also a demented female cyborg who kicks the crap out of him in a really good scene. This isn't a good film by any standards, though it is half an acceptable action movie with some good fight scenes.
984: Prisoner of the Future (1982)
After ten minutes I checked IMDB to see if this film was what I thought it was and I was right. It's a bleak nihilistic totally depressing Canadian art movie with no entertainment value whatsoever. I flicked to the end to watch the final scenes as mentioned in the solitary (no surprise there) review. I also learned from IMDB that this was commissioned as a pilot. Jumping Jesus Christ! I'm surprised this film wasn't buried the first time anyone saw the complete cut.
Top Line (1988)
Spoiler alert: This Italian movie, filmed in English, actually is an alien invasion movie. Franco Nero finds (after 20 minutes in which nothing of interest happens) an alien spaceship buried inside a mountain and then finds that pretty much every authority in the world is after them. And then nothing much of interest happens again for a while until he and his new girlfriend get chased by a cyborg which, in true Terminator style, gets half his human face ripped off revealing a robot eyeball which moves from side to side with a whirring noise until the cyborg gets dismembered by a pissed off bull. An even better scene is when he's confronted by his beautiful ex-wife who metamorphoses quite gruesomely into an alien and he learns the real truth about the world. Sorry but even I have limits. You'll have to watch the movie to find out what it is. (But you can probably have a good guess.)